The Department of Defense welcomes the Supreme Court’s decision on the Defense of Marriage Act. The department will immediately begin the process of implementing the Supreme Court’s decision in consultation with the Department of Justice and other executive branch agencies. The Department of Defense intends to make the same benefits available to all military spouses — regardless of sexual orientation — as soon as possible. That is now the law and it is the right thing to do.
Every person who serves our nation in uniform stepped forward with courage and commitment. All that matters is their patriotism, their willingness to serve their country, and their qualifications to do so. Today’s ruling helps ensure that all men and women who serve this country can be treated fairly and equally, with the full dignity and respect they so richly deserve.
A soldier from Central Texas who was killed in a rocket attack in Afghanistan has been returned home on what would have been her 22nd birthday.
One of our own LGBT servicemembers was killed in Afghanistan.
Asked by Anonymous
First off, thanks for the question. The answers I have for you may seem disheartening right now, but remember you’re not alone. A lot of couples make it work, even though we have more hurdles than our heterosexual counterparts. So here’s the deal: You and your girlfriend will be apart while she’s in basic, and most likely while she’s in her technical training (AIT). The length of her technical training will depend on the job she chooses. You can visit her while she’s in AIT, but she will still be in training status, so her ability to get time off will be very limited. During her technical training, you’ll be in a limbo status since neither one of you will know where she’s going to be stationed. Just try not to stress and/or fight about it. It’s completely out of your (and her) control. Once she gets her first assignment, you should be able to follow her there. The Army likes to keep their single (i.e., unmarried by federal definition) soldiers in the barracks for a while (a few years, at least), so you will most likely have to get a nearby apartment where she’ll live with you on weekends, etc. Once she gets high enough in rank, she should be able to move off base. If she gets orders overseas, it becomes more complicated. You’ll have to find your own legal means (i.e., work or student visa) of staying in whatever foreign country she’s stationed in, or do the long-distance thing.
There is going to be a lot of sacrifice for the both of you, so you need to communicate about it as much as possible and have a plan of sorts before she leaves for basic. Make sure you are both completely and utterly determined to make it work before you uproot your life and potentially sacrifice your career. I hope this helps answer your questions, and I wish you both the best of luck. If you have any other specific questions, please let me know. My ex-girlfriend of five years was a civilian, so I know exactly where you’re coming from.
Please go to this website immediately, and/or like them on Facebook. The American Military Partner Association has great information and support for LGBT military families!